 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 | ||||||||||
| He Says |
She Says This movie was slow to start but never crossed the line over to painful. The low budget was obvious and the acting inconsistent. The Zombie Origin was Magic Masquarding as Science visa vie Frankenstien, so medical accuracy is completely irrevlenat. The movie within a movie trope isn't really my thing but it was done passably well. The script had some internal inconsistency with little flashes of brilliance. Some of it was so campy that it was really awful but it was still amusing. I found myself really amused by the whole movie despite its obvious shortcomings. This is movie for a relaxed evening and some pizza rolls. Medical Accuracy: n/a Vedict: Enjoyable |
Severed: Forest of the Dead
2006, R, 96 minutes
Official Synopsis
When a forestry company's profit-driven decision to genetically engineer trees goes horribly wrong, a mismatched group of loggers and environmental activists become ravenous flesh-eating zombies. And although a few uninfected survivors remain, their chances of getting out of the wilderness alive are as remote as the forest itself. An ensemble cast stars in this undead gore fest that makes a run-in with a wood chipper seem tame.
Down-and-Dirty
Who dies first: Random blue collar white guy
Best Kill: Tree-hugger zombie buffet
Most Cliched Moment: Let's split up! and get eaten!
Who We Were Rooting For: the humans...we guess
| He Says Well I'm just happy that we finally got to review a movie made by people who were not still in film school. Though the film school they might have completed was in fact in Canada. And as anyone could expect from our socialist, maple syrup eating, hockey loving, bilingual sign having neighbors the movie was neither horrible nor was it that good. I would watch it one time and not really recomend it to a friend but if they asked about it I wouldn't say don't watch it...I mean, hell, at least non of them were French Canadians. I was so, so, so disapointed that a camp of lumber jacks failed utterly in the improvised anti zombie weapons department. Only a single chainsaw kill and only one guy with an ax? Really? It should have been hordes of ax and chainsaw wielding bearded lumber jacks slaughtering hoards of hippie tree hugging zombies...or just hippies who might some day become zombies either one would have worked for me. Killin' Realism: 5/10 Vedict: Watchable |
She Says So, this film is overwhelmingly OK. The beginning was slow, but not painful. The Zombie Origin was very, very strange; I mean, tree mold, really? Was it a really bad tip that makes you want to eat brains, or something? Weak. It did have a fun, creepy score and a very fast infection rate, which is always delightfully scary, but it was completely hampered but intensely mediocre writing. Nothing about this film was awful, but there was no brilliance. Not a single part of this film was cleverly original. See? I just don't have much to say about it, either good or bad. Medical Accuracy: 5/10 They didn't really do anything wrong, but there was nothing Right either. Verdict: Watchable |
Rating
This movie is better with alcohol and snacks, but is not painful to watch.2 Brains!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Zombie Apocalypse
2008, NR, 1 hr 31 minutes.
Official Synopsis
Packed with brain chewing Zombie action, this tale of terror follows the travails of two college roomies who wish they had opted for a quiet evening at home when their guys' night out finds them pitted against a hungry hoard of the undead.
Down-and-Dirty
Who dies first: Angry middle-aged white guy
Best Kill: Classy suicide of bitten fighter. Cred for the wink
Most Cliched Moment: Whack-a-Zombie with a 2x4
Who We Were Rooting For: Zombies
| He Said I felt that this piece had great potential. They had a loose plot that eluded to some origin for the zombies, they had a head zombie killer with an accent who was somehow involved with the zombie creation, and alot of good improvised anti-zombie weapons in play. Unfortunatley it really started falling apart for me at dime beer night. In what collage fantasy land can you have 10 cent drafts? It did have it's moments. Fat guy and rival freshman year roommate made bro peace after a punch to the face settling a past issue involving a girl. Agent Net was finally killed but not before he pulled foreign rogue agents eye out. Big down side, chunky goth chick with the chainsaw managed to live through the whole movie. Killin' accuracy: Well they did point the guns in the right direction at least. Verdict: Watchable |
She Said I'm hoping that this was a farce that translated poorly. Well done, we-are-laughing-on-the-inside farce is really difficult to do. I'm thinking that they were trying for hilarious and got a giggle. If they weren't, if this was really a serious piece then the writers need to re-evaluate their life goals. Even giving it credit for being a farce, it was... what's an antonym for compelling? I was barely paying attention during this. I wasn't an excruciating waste of my life, but, uh, I'm not going to watch it again. Medical Accuracy: Can I give a negative number? I think I got dumber as I watched. Verdict: Bad |
Rating
Full of unrealized potential, this is not the worst movie ever made.1.5 Brains!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Die-Ner
2005, NR, 1 hr 18 minutes.
Official Synopsis
Slaying strangers in a lonesome country diner becomes hazardous duty for a roving serial killer after his first victims come back to life as zombies who are eager to make a meal of him and his next intended targets. Josh Grote plays the friendly and engaging murderer, Ken, in a well-crafted indie gore fest that extracts new laughs from classic genre stereotypes -- including a bumbling country sheriff (Larry Purtrell) who wanders into the mayhem.
Down-and-Dirty
Best Kill: That everyone died is the only good point.
Who died first: Sad, lonely single female.
Most cliched moment: Not leaving despite ample opportunity.
Who we were rooting for: the Zombies
| HE SAYS This movie just sucked. It's only redeeming quality is that they all died; unforunately not before they all gave a monologue. My favorite character was Fred, simply because he didn't talk during the whole movie. The Zombies were unkillable. Zero proficient anti-zombie actions were taken. Killin' realism: 0/10 Verdict: Awful |
SHE SAYS This movie has a decent premise. Now adjust your expectations: way, way down. This movie has poor...everything. Obviously an amateur college level production that should never have found it's way onto Netflix. All character development was shallow and unbelievable. The "serial killer" was created not from pyschotic movitations but obviously because the writers couldn't come up with any reason for people to get murdered. Medical realism: 1/10 Verdict: Awful. |
Rating
1/2 a brain, only because it's
still better than Les Revenants
0.5 Brains!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Days of Darkness
2007, R, 1hr 25 min
Official Synopsis
When a comet strikes Earth and kicks up a cloud of toxic dust, hundreds of humans join the ranks of the living dead. But there's bad news for the survivors: The newly minted zombies are hell-bent on eradicating every last person from the planet. For the few human beings who remain, going head to head with the flesh-eating fiends is their only chance for long-term survival. Yet their battle will be dark and cold, with overwhelming odds.
Down-and-Dirty
Best Kill: Knife to back of Zombie neck. Realistic, kudos
Who died first: Nice, white married guy
Most cliched moment: Let's split up! and get eaten!
Who we were rooting for: Humans
| He Says I thought it was a very good movie. It started out a little slow, and I didn't have high hopes but it got better as I watched. It was an original Zombie Origin concept. Mediocre but passable acting made it quite tolerable. Favorite part was that the solution to the Zombie Menace was to get some guns and stay drunk. (And the boobs didn't hurt.) Killin' Realism: 7/10* *nice improvisation, but docked for Neck Snap death Verdict: Enjoyable |
She Says I thought it started too fast, actually, it was just two people, and then BAM Zombies. It got really watchable, though, good enough for Netflix, but not one to buy. I liked the Zombie Origin concept, but I called it 30 minutes in. I actually like the All American Boy lead but was frustrated by his refusal to off his infected girlfriend. It's the Apocalypse, Man, put on your big girl panties and get to cutting your losses. Medical Realism: 6/10 Verdict: Watchable |
Completely watchable, even enjoyable, with some novel takes on the old classic. 2.5 brains!
 |
 |
 |
|||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||
 |
|||||||||||||||||||||
